Poems

My Excuses

I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer's on the blink.

I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn't looking.

My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.

Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.

Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.

I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
"I think you'll find it's easier
to do the work instead."

I Taught My Cat To Clean My Room

I taught my cat to clean my room,
to use a bucket, brush and broom,
to dust my books and picture frames,
and pick up all my toys and games.

He puts my pants and shirts away,
and makes my bed, and I should say
it seems to me it's only fair
he puts away my underwear.

In fact, I think he's got it made.
I'm not too happy with our trade.
He may pick up my shoes and socks,
but I clean out his litterbox.

My Family

Mums are cool
Even if they drool
Brothers are fine
If there nine
Dads are all right
If they own a kite
And I'm amazing no matter what!


Thank you for reading my poems!

Jokes!

1. What did the sardine call the submarine?
Answer: A can of people.

2.
    Man: Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone!
 Doctor: Are you choking?
     Man: No, I really did!


3. When a night in armour was killed in battle what did they put on his grave?
Answer: Rust in peace.


4.
    Boy 1: I failed in every subject exept Maths!
    Boy 2: How did you do that?
    Boy 1: I didn't go to Maths!


5.
   Teacher: Where is your homework?
          Boy: I put it in a safe but lost the key.


6. What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
Answer: A sourpuss.

Thank you for reading my jokes!